Weird Science

Remember I said how I loved gadgets? Well, last week, not only did I recieve a Slendertone, I also gained, thanks to the F.B.B, a pair of Fit Flops. I suppose it’s only fair, being a fan of impartial judgement, to compare and rate them. Let’s use some headings:

1. The Silly Tagline

FIT FLOP: “It’s the flip-flop with a gym built in”
SLENDERTONE: “There’s only one Slendertone”

WINNER: Fit flop, I think. Not only is it a ridiculous mental image, it also encapsulates the apparent appeal of the item.

2. The Science Bit

FIT FLOP: Unique MicroWobble-board technology.
SLENDERTONE: Electric shocky things

WINNER: Em, I’m not sure. Perhaps the Slendertone, for erring on the side of actual scientific logic.

3. Practicality

FIT FLOP: These are rank-looking. Like MBT’s but in sandal form. But, while it doesn’t feel like walking on clouds, neither are they massively uncomfortable.
SLENDERTONE: The item claims that you can work while wearing it. Not if your job entails doing something that requires any kind of steady hand. Jackson Pollock is the only person I can think of, and even still, it’d probably annoy him.

WINNER: Fit flop.

4. People I Know That Own One.

FIT FLOP: Nobody. But I’ve seen women around the place wearing them. So clearly there’s a market.
SLENDERTONE: Those two girls from band camp years ago.

WINNER: Fit flop.

Well done, the fit flop. Of course, we should have known that from the start, had we only examined the ‘wearer feedback’ on the press release.

Let’s leave the final words to Tahira:

“I just bought a pair from Victoria’s Secret and they are the most comfortable shoes I own. They help me to WORK OUT ALL DAY LONG. I have difficulty finding comfortable ‘cute’ shoes. Well, FitFlops are amazing. I love them.”

Quite.

x
A

Can’t Speak French #3

The current UK Number one has a French name. But can she speak French? Only time, and dodgy babelfish usage, will tell.

Interestingly, this song doesn’t have a bridge as such, so we’ll just take the second verse

Before:
I won’t let you turn around,
And tell me now, I’m much too proud
To walk away from something when it’s dead
Do do do your dirty words
Come out to play when you are hurt
There’s certain things that should be
Left unsaid
Tick tick tick tick on the watch
Life’s too short for me to stop
Oh baby, your time is running out
I won’t let you turn around
And tell me now, I’m much too proud
All you do is fill be up with doubt

This time baby
I’ll be Bulletproof

During:

I won’t vous a laissé tourner autour, I’ll le vous indiquent maintenant, I’m beaucoup trop fier
de marcher à partir de quelque chose quand it’s les morts
font font votre plus mauvais sale
Sorti pour jouer quand vous êtes blessé
There’s certaines choses de qui devraient être laissées inexprimées
Coutil de coutil de coutil de coutil sur la montre
Life’s trop court pour que j’arrête
Oh le bébé, votre temps s’épuise
I won’t vous a laissé tourner autour
Et dites-moi maintenant, I’ m beaucoup trop fier
Tout que vous faites est suffisance soit vers le haut avec le doute
Ce bébé de temps I’ll le soit à l’épreuve des balles

After:
I won’t let to you turn around, I’ll indicate to you now,
I’ m too much proud to go from something when it’s deaths
make make your worse dirty Left to play when you are wounded
There’s certain things of which should be left unexpressed
Drill of drill of drill of drill on the watch
Life’s too short so that j’ stop
Oh the baby, your time s’ exhaust
I won’t let to you turn around
And say maintaining to me, I’ m too much proud
Very that you made is sufficiency that is to say upwards with the doubt
This baby of time, is it with test of the balls.

Do we concur? La Roux: Can’t Speak French.

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A

Technologik

I’ve been having a difficult day so far. The only things that show signs of helping to abate this are, luckily, my two favourite things.

1. Animals
I’ve been google imaging ‘puppies on parade’ frantically. The results have not been displeasing.

2. Gadgets
Katie-Lilga and I both recieved a Slendertone (O HAI 1999) in the post the other day. My only memories of the Slendertone were these two girls that I met at band camp when I was about 14. They had, literally, abs that were as hard as concrete, mixed with steel. I’m very excited.I have images of myself watching ‘Come Dine With Me’, whirring and beeping away.

x
A

P.S. Picture is of the Cat Bus from My Neighbour Totoro- a fine combination of both animals, and gadgets.

Turn to the Left! Fashion! Turn to the Right!

I was massively impressed by the Grafton Academy End of Year Show the other night. Not only was it better run than other shows I’ve been to (not mentioning any names, although having an organised seating plan goes a long way, you know, cough Nokia Young Designer cough) but the standard was sky high. Being an idiot, I left all my notes behind, so this is a vague, cloudily remembered resumé.

-Models wore peroxide blonde bobbed wigs, coupled with feathery eyelashes and a stubborn pout, meaning that, essentially, a young blonde Jean Shrimpton modelled each outfit.

-Pieces were, for the most part, both influenced by avant-fashion, and also immensely wearable. Stand-outs included a beautiful feathered miniskirt, a gorgeously cut silk backless shirt, and a white wool cape.

-Annemarie and Arsheen should have better photos up soon, but here’s a selection of the press shots. Youngsters, bien fait*.

*I say ‘youngsters’, most of them were older than me…

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A

Thong Song

T.A.C. was PERFECT last night. Click here to see the rest of the photos…

Next stop…

WAR at Spy goes weekly on Friday. Don’t dodge the gunfire, it’s ALCOHOL. Lovely.

Katie

We are undie-serving (ba ha)

You can’t use the old having nothing to wear excuse tonight, no. Just strip down to your underwear, get to The Button Factory (couple of warm up exercises first maybe), and Bob’s your uncle. There will be the usual mix of hilariously and fabulously dressed people, fun music (THEMED tunes, I hear, oh my) and general LOLs. See you there!

Katie

Gang Gang Dancing

It’s almost the first Friday of the month (i.e. TOMORROW) Which means it’s time to put dancing shoes on again, and head down to Spy on South William St.

As ever, Katie-Lilga and I are hosting Songs for Swinging Children, wherein we and our lovely friends play lovely music, while everyone else drinks cheap cheap drinks and dances around. It’s rather nice. Hope to see y’all there.

xxx
A+K

P.S. Photo obtained from Googling ‘kids having fun’. Thank you the Internet.

Make and Do

We have such a dubious claim to being a ‘fashion blog’ that we surprise even ourselves when the term gets bandied about. Sure we were nominated in the Irish Blog Awards under that category, and go to the Fashion Blogger’s Brunches, but, really, we like to think of ourselves as ‘Life and Style’ (thanks for the title, Clare Dot). As such, when we actually feature, fashion items it comes as an equal shock to us as to you, dear readers. Nonetheless, a DIY post.

I wanted to have a pair of Rumi-style boots, but do not make megabucks. I am an enterprising creature, however, and fond of not studying for exams. Thusly, I found an old pair of ankle boots, some straps from an old bag, and some chain headbands from Primark, and set to work. And safety pins. I am not an able seamstress.

Do you like my lo-fi camera skills? And how about the lay-out of materials you might need? Also, I forgot to take a photo at the very start. Just imagine the boots have no chains on them at all. Ok, great.

Then, basically, I stuck them all on. Literally. With glue. And safety pins. Like I said, I am not an able seamstress. (Unlike the Offshoot Girls, swoon)

SAFETY PIN CLOSE-UP!

This is the end result. I’m very excited about wearing them. Except not on my bike. I fear they’ll get caught in the chain and I will end up, really embarrassed, in ER.

En-chain-ting, n’est pas?

xxx
Ailbhe

An Open Letter to Our Blog

Ailbhe and Katie-Lilga,
Dublin,
Ireland

Bluebirds Are So Natural,
The Internet,
The World.

Dear the Blog,

We haven’t been very good recently. Our amazing lives became difficult. The normally fun things that both you and we enjoy have been swallowed by a massive hole of not-fun. Terribly inconvenient. We’ll be back soon, promise, and we’ll spend some quality time. We’ll try and make it up to you. Not sure how. But we totes will. As a present, will you accept a video-clip of our all-time-favourite-thing-ever? That being animals doing things that animals don’t normally do.

WE LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.

XXXX
A+K

Can’t Speak French #2

I don’t care that it’s not been that long since we last did one of these posts. I enjoy them too much. Beyoncé, will you please step up to the plate?

Silly Universal won’t allow embedding, so this lovely powerpoint version’ll have to do

Beyoncé: Halo

Before
Feels like I’ve been awakened
Every rule I had you breakin’
The risk that I’m takin’
I’m never gonna shut you out

Everywhere I’m looking now
I’m surrounded by your embrace
Baby I can see your halo
You know you’re my saving grace

You’re everything I need and more
It’s written all over your face
Baby I can feel your halo
Pray it won’t fade away

I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo
I can feel your halo halo halo
I can see your halo halo halo

During
Se sent comme I’ ; le VE réveillé chaque règle je vous ai eu breakin’ ;
Le risque qui I’ ; m takin’ ; I’ ; m n’allant jamais vous fermer dehors
Partout I’ ; m regardant maintenant I’ ; m entouré par votre bébé d’étreinte
je peux voir votre halo Vous savez you’ ; au sujet de ma grace d’économie
You’ ; re tout que j’ai besoin et plus d’It’ ; s écrit partout votre bébé de visage
me peux sentir votre halo Priez-le won’ ; t se fanent loin
Je peux sentir votre halo de halo de halo
Je peux voir votre halo de halo de halo
Je peux sentir votre halo de halo de halo
Je peux voir votre halo de halo de halo

After
Feels like I the VE awaked each rule I had you breakin’ ;
The risk which I’m takin’ ; I’m n’ never going to close you outside
Everywhere I’m now looking at I’m surrounded by your baby d’ pressure
I can see your halation You know you about my grace d’ economy
You’Re very that j’ have need and more d’ It’ S writes your baby of face
everywhere me can feel your halation Priez it won’ T fade far
I can feel your halation of halation of halation
I can see your halation of halation of halation
I can feel your halation of halation of halation
I can see your halation of halation of halation

Verdict: Surprisingly, that didn’t work at all. Poor show, B. Beyoncé: Can’t speak French.

x
Ailbhe