The Boys Are Back in Town

September 16, 2008

There is nothing that the world needs more at this moment in time than a new Boyzone song. And what a song it is. And what a video. In fact. In fact in fact in fact it might be time to conduct another one of our famous seminars in Video Deconstruction.

0.04- They are pretending that this is a film. Aha. Like in my other favourite Boyzone song- ‘Picture of You’. This bodes well.
0.06- Minus points for silly exclamation mark.
0.09- Ronan can’t believe that he’s in what appears to be New York. And how things have suddenly changed from Black and White to Technicolour.
0.10- Stephen looks terribly smug. Probably because at least half of that hair isn’t his.
0.28- There’s a token Mikey shot. Now, back to RoKo.
0.36- Some young ladies with very poor balance walk by.
0.42- Ronan is bemused.
0.47- The ladies kiss each other. They don’t kiss Stephen. Stephen doesn’t mind.
1.00- So far, the video has only really featured the most important members of Boyzone. This is a very clever idea. Shane’s about to pikey it up though.
1.10- Hi Shane.
1.22- Mikey looks like he’s been called away from a business meeting.
1.36- Keith has gotten a cab straight from Coronation St. Why he’s carrying an umbrella is unknown.
1.42- It’s suddenly night time.
1.48- Hugs for all!
2.00- They enforce damage limitation and intersect lovely girls dancing with Boyzone’s shuffling.
2.27- Key change?
2.28- No! It’s a THEREMIN!!! A THREE SECOND THEREMIN SOLO!
2.33- Not to be upstaged by a theremin, Ronan throws in an off-the-cuff dance move.
2.44- Shane Lynch dances like he’s working out on a powerplate.
2.51- Keith Duffy dances like he wishes he was dead.
3.02- Mikey Graham dances like he’s still in his business meeting.
3.25- Fuck off with your Jazz Hands, Stephen.

Ah. Maze. Ing.

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7 Responses to “The Boys Are Back in Town”

  1. Rosie said

    damn you. i feel queasy after that.

  2. bluebirdsaresonatural said

    A good kind of queasy?

  3. Why oh why oh why did i click on it?
    Gotta go watch something to soothe my poor ears after that đŸ˜›

  4. Lottie said

    **in a very quiet voice** it’s not that bad, is it?

  5. bluebirdsaresonatural said

    how many minus points does one actually earn for silly exclamation marks?! should i be worried?!! how about now?!!!!!

    stephen gately is a tiny little man. now, i mean, i’ve seen my fair share of little people, even midgets, but really, tiny, he is, really truly, very small altogether, miniature.

  6. bluebirdsaresonatural said

    and Lottie, i heard that.

  7. Ailbhe said

    I’ve a feeling that Steve-o’s stature was the reason I chose him as my husband-to-be, aged 8. Oh yes.

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