Living For the City

January 31, 2009

It has been far too long since we deconstructed a silly silly pop music video. Truth been told, there’s been a dearth of videos worthy of prolonged dissection. All this has changed though. Step forward, Shontelle.
Shontelle: ‘Tshirt’

0.06: Shontelle is mysterious. She only has feet and lips. This is probably all you need to be a pop star, truth be told.
0.09: Shontelle is flexible. This is also important in popstardom. Note all the clocks. You’ll get nowhere in life if you’re not punctual.
0.19: I’m baffled. Has she forgotten her keys?
0.25: Her friends are waiting for her. Despite all the clocks, Shontelle is running late. Bad form.
0.28: It’s not her fault. It’s her pesky front door.
0.47: Shontelle lives in a barn. A barn with the biggest lift known to man.
0.52: A barn with no furniture. Only clocks. And one armchair.
0.56: I take that back. There’s also a bed.
1.00: Wait! She’s not a popstar! She’s….an ARCHITECHT! This is one of the best fake jobs in a video since Britney as an airhostess in ‘Toxic’.
1.13: As an architecht, she can afford fancy fish for her barn- which, she probably designed herself.
1.16: Shontelle is a conscientious fish owner.
1.32: Her friends are getting a bit fed up by this stage.
1.40: Being a business woman. At her desk.
1.48: Opening the post. But it’s actually quite late in the day to be doing this. Her friends are waiting. It’s probably the weekend. Why doesn’t she look at the MANY MANY CLOCKS SURROUNDING HER?
2.13: Bitch doesn’t care about her iphone. She’s got work to be doing.
2.39: Now is not the time to be looking at shirts, Shontelle. Either do some actual work or go and meet your friends.
2.50: Far be it from me to question how architechts get dressed, but who puts on a tshirt first, THEN takes off their dress?
3.00: The tshirt probably needs a wash. She’s been smelling it a lot.
3.15: At last, inspired by the manky tshirt, Shontelle unleashes her set square and gets her architecht on.
3.22: Until someone who looks more like an actual architecht enters the barn.
3.27: ‘Dude. Why are you at my archi-desk?’
3.33: ‘Cuz I iz popstar yo’



2 Responses to “Living For the City”

  1. Duffy said

    Her friends are right to be angry. Doesnt she know its hos before bros. Stop reeling around like a slippery eel and live your life woman!

  2. Ailbhe said

    But maybe we don’t know how hard it is to have a fake job.

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