Country Grammar

July 26, 2009

After a delicious FBB (cheers M&S, and also Ams) I was only really good for an afternoon of light reading. So I bought the new i-D. Man was I disappointed.

Firstly, let me just preface this by saying;

1. As a magazine, I quite like i-D, and I buy it most months.
2. As a journalist myself, I understand how sometimes typos get the better of most people.

However, what follows is just embarassing.

Over the 162 pages, there were a mortifying amount of mistakes. I’m not just talking typos though, and though it’s tempting, I’ll not do a page-by-page roll call. Suffice to say that:
In the lead story alone (one on Lily Allen), they mix up ‘heirs’ and ‘airs’. That’s not forgetting the constant ‘lets’ vs ‘let’s’ and ‘its’ vs it’s’. Elsewhere, they misspell ‘arctic’ and in a spread on Stephen Dorff, get the colour of his eyes wrong. Despite there being 3 full-page photos of him and his green-not-blue-eyes preceding the write-up.


‘Aged 35, has eyes of blue’ Cheers i-D

Hmph. Looks like it’s back to Dazed for me, so.

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Remember these guys? Well, they’re at it again. Tonight, in the same space, they’re putting on an exhibition. You should go. It’d be good. Bit of culture. Get out and meet some people like. Yeah. I think so too. See you there? Meet you at the Luas?

Here’s the relevant info:
An exhibition of the new collection by Spanish artist David Agenjo will take place from 23rd July-28th July in Smithfield, Dublin. This exciting new work will be showcased in an unused retail space which has been converted into a pop up gallery.

Agenjo is an artist and graphic designer born and raised in Madrid. In 2007, he moved to Dublin, and the magnitude of that change in his life inspired the creation of his latest collection.

Up & Down in Town collects urban landscapes which show the city from the artist’s perspective. Agenjo’s purpose goes further than a simple representation of images in attempting to reveal the city’s spirit, energy and mood. Agenjo uses a figurative style to expose the emotion of the city’s reality.

“Colour is my delight, I always try to bring out its very best potential working on its’ qualities of light and look for the best combination possible from it. Without a doubt my main objective has been to find that atmosphere which from my point of view makes Dublin unique.”

In addition to Agenjo’s representation of the city, he will also show through five self portraits, a more intimate work, communicating without words a frustration and impotence resulting from the language barrier.

We’re big eurovision fans, round BBASN way.
Does anybody remember this O-town-esque gem, below, from 2002? It even has its own wikipedia page:
“Northern Girl” is a song by the band Prime Minister. It represented Russia in the Eurovision Song Contest 2002. The singers all wore identical white suits. The song was about a girl who appeared to have a heart of ice, but had stolen the heart of the singer.


ACE IS NOT THE WORD

Now, we have another eurostud (in name if in nothing else), the young Frankmusik , who has written another song about a girl. No word as of yet as to which materials constitute her heart.

Even though these two songs concern two different girls, they are basically the same thing. Maybe we could do a remix, or a ‘mash-up’.

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Weird Science

July 5, 2009

Remember I said how I loved gadgets? Well, last week, not only did I recieve a Slendertone, I also gained, thanks to the F.B.B, a pair of Fit Flops. I suppose it’s only fair, being a fan of impartial judgement, to compare and rate them. Let’s use some headings:

1. The Silly Tagline

FIT FLOP: “It’s the flip-flop with a gym built in”
SLENDERTONE: “There’s only one Slendertone”

WINNER: Fit flop, I think. Not only is it a ridiculous mental image, it also encapsulates the apparent appeal of the item.

2. The Science Bit

FIT FLOP: Unique MicroWobble-board technology.
SLENDERTONE: Electric shocky things

WINNER: Em, I’m not sure. Perhaps the Slendertone, for erring on the side of actual scientific logic.

3. Practicality

FIT FLOP: These are rank-looking. Like MBT’s but in sandal form. But, while it doesn’t feel like walking on clouds, neither are they massively uncomfortable.
SLENDERTONE: The item claims that you can work while wearing it. Not if your job entails doing something that requires any kind of steady hand. Jackson Pollock is the only person I can think of, and even still, it’d probably annoy him.

WINNER: Fit flop.

4. People I Know That Own One.

FIT FLOP: Nobody. But I’ve seen women around the place wearing them. So clearly there’s a market.
SLENDERTONE: Those two girls from band camp years ago.

WINNER: Fit flop.

Well done, the fit flop. Of course, we should have known that from the start, had we only examined the ‘wearer feedback’ on the press release.

Let’s leave the final words to Tahira:

“I just bought a pair from Victoria’s Secret and they are the most comfortable shoes I own. They help me to WORK OUT ALL DAY LONG. I have difficulty finding comfortable ‘cute’ shoes. Well, FitFlops are amazing. I love them.”

Quite.

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The current UK Number one has a French name. But can she speak French? Only time, and dodgy babelfish usage, will tell.

Interestingly, this song doesn’t have a bridge as such, so we’ll just take the second verse

Before:
I won’t let you turn around,
And tell me now, I’m much too proud
To walk away from something when it’s dead
Do do do your dirty words
Come out to play when you are hurt
There’s certain things that should be
Left unsaid
Tick tick tick tick on the watch
Life’s too short for me to stop
Oh baby, your time is running out
I won’t let you turn around
And tell me now, I’m much too proud
All you do is fill be up with doubt

This time baby
I’ll be Bulletproof

During:

I won’t vous a laissé tourner autour, I’ll le vous indiquent maintenant, I’m beaucoup trop fier
de marcher à partir de quelque chose quand it’s les morts
font font votre plus mauvais sale
Sorti pour jouer quand vous êtes blessé
There’s certaines choses de qui devraient être laissées inexprimées
Coutil de coutil de coutil de coutil sur la montre
Life’s trop court pour que j’arrête
Oh le bébé, votre temps s’épuise
I won’t vous a laissé tourner autour
Et dites-moi maintenant, I’ m beaucoup trop fier
Tout que vous faites est suffisance soit vers le haut avec le doute
Ce bébé de temps I’ll le soit à l’épreuve des balles

After:
I won’t let to you turn around, I’ll indicate to you now,
I’ m too much proud to go from something when it’s deaths
make make your worse dirty Left to play when you are wounded
There’s certain things of which should be left unexpressed
Drill of drill of drill of drill on the watch
Life’s too short so that j’ stop
Oh the baby, your time s’ exhaust
I won’t let to you turn around
And say maintaining to me, I’ m too much proud
Very that you made is sufficiency that is to say upwards with the doubt
This baby of time, is it with test of the balls.

Do we concur? La Roux: Can’t Speak French.

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