Can’t Speak French #1

April 17, 2009

Hello. Welcome to a new section on Bluebirds Are So Natural, called ‘Can’t Speak French’. In this section, we’ll be using the wonders of modern technology to determine whether or not any of the artists in the current Top 30 can, ‘speak French’ as it were. Basically, what this means is that we’ll pop some lyrics from a song in English (Middle 8 and Chorus) into Babelfish, translate them into French, and then back again, for megalaffs.

This week, it’s the turn of Girls Aloud’s ‘Untouchable’.

‘Whenever you’re gone, gone
They wait at the door
And everything’s hurting like a bore
Without any meaning
We’re just skin and bone
Like beautiful robots dancing alone

And in my dreams it feels like we are forty storeys tall
When you’re around ooooh we’re untouchable
And in my dreams it feels like we aren’t ever gonna fall
We’re safe and sound and we’re untouchable’

Toutes les fois que you’ ; allé re, allé
Ils attendent à la porte
Et everything’ ; s blessant comme un alésage sans toute signification
We’ ; juste peau et os re
Comme de beaux robots seul dansant
Et dans mes rêves il se sent comme nous sommes quarante étages grands
quand you’ ; Re autour de l’ooooh we’ ; untouchable re
Et dans mes rêves il se sent comme nous aren’ ; t allant jamais tomber
We’ ; sûr et sain re et we’ ; untouchable’ re ;

‘All times that you’ ; gone Re, gone They wait the door
And everything’ ; S wounding like a boring without any We’ significance; ;
right skin and bone Re Like beautiful robots only dancing

And in my dreams it feels as we are forty large stages
when you’ ; Re around l’ ooooh we’ ; untouchable Re
And in my dreams it feels like us aren’ ; T never going to fall
We’ ; sure and healthy Re and we’ ; untouchable’ Re;’

VERDICT: That held up pretty well, all things considering. So, yes, Girls Aloud can speak French.



Last Night A DJ Saved My Life

November 28, 2008

Ahoy. We’ve been very awful with the blog of late. We are sorry. This will probably change next week. Then we’ll be wonderful. Until then, it’s another filler post. Many millions of people have been asking for our setlist from TAC. Alright then. Here we go. It’s not in order, mind. We aren’t that organised.

1. Take Take Take- The White Stripes

2. Do It Right- The Go! Team
3. In the Summertime- Wiley

4. Kiss- Prince
5. Ever Fallen in Love- The Buzzcocks
6. Pin- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
7. Satisfaction- Devo
8. Ring My Bell- Donna Summers
9. Fix Up Look Sharp- Dizzee Rascal

10. Hustler- S.M.D.
11. Pledge of Alliegance- Louis XIV
12. It’s Tricky- Run DMC

13. Juicebox- The Strokes
14. Trick Me- Kelis
15. Let’s Dance- David Bowie
16. 2 of Hearts- Stacey Q

17. Gimme More- Britney Spears

Rod Stewart: Young Turks.

There are many things that I enjoy in this video though- mainly the synchronised energetic dancing and cropped tops.

I don’t enjoy how they promote ignoring the traffic lights at a busy intersection.

Also, Mary gives birth to a ‘ten pound baby boy’. That’s a doofer of a child, by all accounts, and Mary looks like a slender girl.

My Chemistry teacher in school looked a bit like Rod Stewart. She was a woman. Unfortunate that. Her looking like Rod-o, I mean. Not her being female. Natch.

Rust Never Sleeps

November 1, 2008

I suppose this only really applies to our UK readers, but hop skip and jump over to BBC4’s iplayer and re-watch their smashing smashing supergood Neil Young documentary. [Unfortunately iplayer is only availbe to those living in the UK, which is incredibly irritating, at best.] If you don’t live across the waves, or you missed the original screening last night, here are some of the condensed highlights.

1. When asked about his relationship with music, Young responded: ‘I only care about the music. It’s sad. But if you can’t see that about me, you can’t understand me.’ Throughout his career, he let friendships fall to the wayside, for better to serve his creative muse. He didn’t see it as a selfish thing, more as an imperative. It wasn’t about him, it was about the music.

2. In the ’70’s, he collaborated on a feature film with Devo- in which they played nuclear waste workers. Devo used to call Young ‘grandpa granola’. Lolz. They also had abitofajam- which resulted in the Neil Young and Crazy Horse track- ‘My My Hey Hey’. The album that track is from- ‘Rust Never Sleeps’ takes its title from a Devo promotional t-shirt.

3. Young’s 1980’s record- Trans- was a brave foray in the world of electronica, leading to mixed results. What was interesting though, was how open Young was, and is, to all new music. From the outbreak of punk rock in 1977, to the rise of electronica in the 80’s, he was always willing to follow the music, as it were. The genre didn’t really matter- just the content. These guys were one of his favourites:

Apparently, the beeb have a new Neil Young website up and running, that may well have some kind of offcuts from the documentary. Here’s fingers crossed.

Hello Dolly

August 19, 2008

Welcome Home Katie. I’m sure L.A. was lovely and full of people like the above, but it’s nothing compared to a currently no-rain Dublin and some tea and cake yes yes.

Hold What You Got

July 24, 2008

I recently read an article heralding the below band- The Saturdays- as heiresses to Girls Aloud’s crown. Treachery. Let’s pop the video up here, then logically deconstruct it step by step, in order to show how Cheryl, Nadine, Sarah, Kimberly and Nicola how little they have to fear.

0.06 Seconds: There’s a breathy ‘yeah’, mimicing at best, Cascada, at worst, the Latvian Eurovision entry circa 1995.

0.08 Seconds: Some disgruntled girls walk past the location where the video is set. Are they angry because they’re not members of The Saturdays? Probably not.

0.16 Seconds: There is a lot of hairspray used. Clearly The Saturdays have no enviornmental conscience.

0.39 Seconds: Member X of The Saturdays is eyed up and down by Member Y. Jealousy? Hardly. Boredom? Probably.

0.43 Seconds: Everyone stands up. Hopefully this means the video is over.

0.46 Seconds: Even the director is fed up.

1.00 Minutes: The video is not over. They’re simply walking en masse to the clever post-modern performance area. It’s a shop front you see. Genius. They’re still using industrial amounts of hairspray though.

1.36 Minutes: If you’ve been watching carefully, you’ll notice that they’re all wearing the same shoes, except in different colours. First it was neon high heels, now it’s clunky wedges. This is because, in case the point hasn’t been made yet, they’re in a band.

1.41 Minutes: Someone in the crowd tries the stun them with the flash off their camera. A brave tactic, but the hairspray smokescreen shields the band.

2.10 Minutes: Jonny tries his luck. Member X isn’t having it.

2.35 Minutes: Member Z has a virtuoso ‘No no no’. In a week she’ll have left the band in order to persue a solo career.

2.42 Minutes: Member W has a bit of a sit down.

2.52 Minutes: Member Z is at it again. Maybe she’ll leave the band tomorrow at this stage.

3.04 Minutes: The band leave the stage. The crowd cheer wildly. I can understand why.

3.14 Minutes: A young fan is introduced. She’s probably too young to have heard of Girls Aloud.

3.21 Minutes: The track ends.

I haven’t discussed the track itself, I know. That’s because it’s got about as much substance as a Lisa Scott Lee/Danni Minogue collaboration B-Side.

Forget about The Saturdays. Hopefully they’ll wither and return to their wildly stimulating jobs in retail very soon. In the meantime, soothe your eyes and ears with what is possibly the greatest debut single of all time:

yes, things will get phenomenally better on september 26th when Choke comes out to play in selected picture houses. the majority of Chuck Palahniuk’s novels are being, or have been, considered for movie adaptations, and obviously Fight Club’s been done and dusted, but it’s very exciting to have this made entirely official. the trailer? here ye are now.

Sam Rockwell plays sex addict and colonial theme park worker Victor Mancini who fakes choking in expensive restaurants in order to win the sympathy of his rich ‘saviours’ who’s cheques pay for the care of his elderly mother. it’s not my favourite Palahniuk (toss up between Diary and Haunted in case you were wondering) but i cannae wait. if the trailer is anything to go by, the soundtrack is also promising. bit of clap your hands say yeah. ah yeah. bring it on, bring it very on.

choke at imdb
chuck on set
join the cult